Let’s talk about a very important and, perhaps, painful issue — our internal objections. Yes, those very thoughts and doubts that seem to hold us back when we decide to change our lives. This article is for you if you’ve ever experienced internal conflict between wanting to do something and lacking the energy or motivation. Let’s figure out why this happens and how to deal with it.
Table Of Contents
Why Do Internal Objections Arise?
Imagine you finally decide to start a new life: take up sports, learn a new language, or maybe even change your profession. You’re full of enthusiasm, making plans, but when it comes to taking action, something seems to stop you. You start to doubt: “What if I fail?”, “This is so hard, can I really handle it?”, “Maybe this isn’t for me…”
Sound familiar? These thoughts are internal objections, a completely natural part of the psychological process that arises when we face the need to make decisions or take action toward our goals. Often, our internal objections are tied to the mind’s self-protection mechanisms, as it seeks to avoid potential threats like fear of failure, criticism, or changes in our usual way of life. Our negative past experiences also influence us, especially when we’ve already faced failures. In such cases, internal objections can emerge as a reaction to memories of past difficulties. Some of us may also experience cognitive distortions, such as “black-and-white thinking,” where one sees a situation only as either successful or unsuccessful, or “catastrophizing” — the tendency to expect the worst outcome.
No matter the reasons behind your internal objections — whether it’s fear of failure, lack of self-confidence, or simply a habit of procrastination — remember this: don’t let internal objections and negative thoughts overpower you.
Where Do Internal Objections Come From?
- Social Attitudes and Beliefs: Social norms, upbringing, and culture can instill beliefs in us that may contradict our desires and goals.
- Doubts About Our Abilities: A lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem can lead to constant doubts about our ability to achieve our goals.
- Fear of Change: We often tend to avoid change because new circumstances can be unpredictable and frightening.
What To Do When Internal Objections Arise?
“What If I Can’t Handle It?”
This is perhaps the most common objection. We often fear failure because it seems like something terrible and final. But you know what? Failures aren’t the end of the world. They’re part of the process. When you try something new, it’s absolutely normal not to get it right the first time. Allow yourself to make mistakes because they teach us and make us stronger. Remember, every successful person has gone through failures before achieving their goals.
How To Overcome The Fear Of Failure?
Imagine a staircase where each step is a move toward your goal. Failures aren’t falls, but temporary stops on the way up. Take responsibility for your actions and try to learn from your mistakes. After all, every step, even if it seems like a failure, brings you closer to success.
“I Just Don’t Have Time For This.”
Lack of time is another common objection. We’re all busy, with our own tasks, work, family, and obligations. But the truth is, if you really want something, you’ll find time for it. Start small. You don’t need to immediately set aside two hours a day for a new activity. Start with ten minutes, but do it regularly, and gradually you’ll see how small steps lead to big changes.
Why Is It Important To Take Even Small Steps?
When you start doing something, even something small, you see results, and that motivates you to keep going. Remember, consistency is more important than the amount of time you spend achieving your goal. Even small steps can lead to big changes.
“What If I’m Not Good Enough?”
This objection can be particularly painful as it touches on self-confidence. We often think that other people are smarter, more successful, or better prepared. But the truth is, each of us is unique, and you have your own strengths.
How To Build Self-Confidence?
One of the simplest ways is to remind yourself of your successes. Keep a journal of achievements where you can record all your small victories; this way, you’ll be able to see that you’re actually capable of a lot. And remember, confidence isn’t something that comes naturally — it’s a skill that can be developed.
What To Do When It Seems Like Nothing Is Changing?
“I Don’t See Any Progress, Maybe It’s All In Vain?”
Yes, sometimes it feels like you’re putting in the effort, but nothing is changing. However, it’s possible that the changes aren’t happening as quickly as you’d like. It’s important to remember that significant changes take time. Give yourself time and keep moving forward, even if the results aren’t visible yet.
How To Stay Motivated?
View the process of achieving your goal as a journey, not a race. Don’t rush — enjoy every step. If you feel your motivation waning, remind yourself why you’re doing this. Perhaps it’s worth reassessing your goals to ensure they are truly important to you.
“What If It’s All Pointless?”
Doubts are normal; they will always be there. But it’s important not to let them control you. Ask yourself: what do I lose if I try? Most likely, nothing. But if you don’t try, you might miss the chance to improve your life.
How To Deal With Internal Objections?
- Identifying Negative Thoughts: Use mindfulness and self-observation to do this. Record thoughts that cause resistance or negative emotions.
- Reevaluating Internal Objections: Analyze each thought and try to find logical counterarguments. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?”, “What evidence is there against this thought?”
- Creating Alternative Positive Thoughts: After reevaluating a negative thought, come up with a more positive and rational alternative. Try to shift your thinking from negative to positive. Use affirmations to gradually, step by step, change your mindset, such as “I can handle any task,” “I deserve success and happiness.” Regular use of affirmations strengthens self-confidence.
- The “Thought Stopping” Technique: If you notice a negative thought beginning to take over your mind, mentally or aloud, say “Stop!” Then shift your focus to something positive or neutral, or engage in an activity that requires concentration.
- Planning and Goal Setting: Break down your goals into small, achievable steps. This approach helps reduce anxiety and gradually overcome internal barriers.
- Using Reframing (Changing the Frame of Perception): The essence of this technique is to change the context or perception of a situation. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never be able to do this,” try thinking, “I can learn and do this step by step.”
- Positive Visualization: Visualizing the successful achievement of your goal helps build confidence and reduce internal doubts. Imagine yourself reaching your goal, overcoming challenges, and enjoying the results.
- Meditation and Relaxation: Relaxation techniques such as meditation and breathing exercises can help reduce the stress and anxiety that cause objections. Practice mindfulness meditation to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment or criticism. Focus on your breathing or bodily sensations to stay in the present moment. This reduces stress and helps prevent negative thoughts from taking over.
- Feedback and Support: Discuss your goals and internal barriers with loved ones, friends, or mentors—those who can listen without doubting your goals. Such external support can be a powerful tool in overcoming resistance.
- Physical Activity: Exercises, outdoor walks, yoga, and other forms of physical activity can significantly reduce stress and improve mood, helping to combat negative thoughts.
Research On Working With Internal Objections
There are numerous studies in the field of psychology that address working with internal objections. For example, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) actively studies methods for dealing with negative beliefs and thoughts that can hinder goal achievement. Some key researchers in this area include Aaron Beck, who developed the principles of CBT (Beck, A. T. (1963). Thinking and depression. I. Idiosyncratic content and cognitive distortions. Archives of General Psychiatry, 9(4), 324-333), and Albert Ellis, the creator of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), which also focuses on working with irrational thoughts (Ellis, A. (1994). Reason and emotion in psychotherapy. Birch Lane).
Conclusion
You can achieve anything you want. Yes, internal objections will arise, but now you know how to deal with them. Just start small, be patient with yourself, and remember that success is not a destination but a journey. And on this journey, we, the YourEasy.Life team, are always here to support you. After all, it’s your life, and you deserve it to be easy, healthy, and full of bright events. Good luck on this journey!